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The worst thing about getting drunk is pretty much any decision you make while drunk.  But once in a while you get lucky and by some fluke, a messy night takes a turn for the better.   Maybe you discover a cool talent or go on an amazing drunk adventure. More likely, you discover a edible-looking hot dog lying on the sidewalk calling to you.  But whatever your drunk win is, it creates an experience so magical that alcohol-soaked you feels like the only person in the world… even though  you probably don’t remember a thing about it the next morning.  1. Your inability to stand up straight resulted in the best dance moves ever The alcohol gods are on your side when your unconscious self manages to do the worm. 2. You’re drunk and your oven is broken… And you really want pizza… 3. So you deep fry your pizza Drunk you is so smart. 4. A beautiful work of art This person got drunk and turned into Leonardo da Vinci. 

Christmas time is coming and maybe you’re a parent who doesn’t want to do all of that Advent calendar stuff because realistically, we all know that kids are going to beg and plead to eat all 25 pieces of chocolate on December 1st. That is a fact and the argument that will ensue between parent and child is not worth it. Luckily, there is a way to avoid this debacle and get something even better in return. Swap out the calendar for an elf on the shelf, add a dose of creativity, and you’ve get yourself a month of fun and games – plus no cavities for the kids! Overall, the elf on a shelf is a great way for parents to get their kids engaged with something other than the TV or the computer. It can also be absolutely hilarious for both parents and kids as evident by these photos that some parents posted . . .  1. Even elves need to do number two sometimes. 2. This elf wants a smooch (or maybe just a piece of chocolate, who knows). 3. Such a social little elf. 4...

There is no getting around the fact that Santa can be a little disturbing. He knows the bad things that you do (like that you peed in your Mom’s potted plant). He sneaks into your house while you sleep. He has that weird Elf on the Shelf who basically provides him with 24-hour surveillance of you. If those things weird you out, you have no idea how much more creepy he can get. Check out these terrifying Santas, and you may consider sealing up your chimney. 1. Horrifying Santa and donkey  What made them see this guy and say, “He’d make a great Santa”? 2. The creepiest Santa look ever Just ugggh. 3. This nicotine-stained Santa This Santa looks like the creepy uncle who smells like malt liquor and chewing tobacco.  4. Creepy clown elves?! Really Santa?

Commitment is a funny word because it has one definition but so many interpretations. For example, commitment for one person can mean finishing a half pack of bacon in a single sitting while jeopardizing their health. For another person, it can be quitting drinking to benefit their health but jeopardizing all hope of them being fun to hang out with.  Those might not be the best examples now that I think about it, but like I said, it’s a word with many interpretations.  Either way, this listicle is filled with interpretations of commitment from many different angles and I, for one, am glad humans are so…so strange.  1. Committed to all the wrong ideas.  2. Committed so hard he wore camo pants to an arcade.  3. Commitment to a joke and clean, fun humor.  4. Commitment to the shot and holding a beer with the free hand.

If knowledge is power, then I am Jon Snow and I’ve just been stabbed to death…in the snow…and I know nothing…and I also have no power because I’m dying in the snow. Okay, you get it.   Here are a bunch of things that you probably never knew, but after reading this you will. And then maybe you’ll come back to life next season or something. Cool! 1. Fire has no shadow But it makes shadows… 2. Chewing gum while cutting onions  Prevents you from bawling your eyes out while you make pasta  3. It’s not Fun-guy It’s Fun-jy. Which is way less fun.  4. The Tostitos logo is two people sharing chips and salsa Weird. I hate sharing my Tostitos.

Well, it’s Wednesday, but since we’re almost at Christmas, it’s pretty much been Friday all week. You know the feeling, where you’ve got to act all professional, but on the inside, your heart’s already Grinchified to 3 sizes too small because you’re stuck in a cubicle instead of being in your PJs, drinking all the eggnog, watching Home Alone 2 and cheering on the Sticky Bandits.  But let’s be real. You’ve probably forgotten about all the days of the week, because really it’s been pre-Christmas for about 7 weeks now. So just kick back and relax, because we got you covered. Just keep your head down, the old dude in the red suit will be here before you know it!  1. Props for this old boss who doesn’t care what the kids are bopping to nowadays Including when they use the flash 2. How many of us will point to Steve as our personal excuse system 3. This is why Santa has bouncers now 4. This goes one of two ways. Either ...