14 Of The Stupidest Ways People Hurt Themselves

I’ll be the first to admit I’m extremely accident prone. Being a gangly left-handed male, I’ve broken bones, have countless scars, and I’ve been to the hospital more times than I care to admit. The top of my list of injuries includes a scar on my thumb from hacking at an apple with a butter knife (age of injury not found / admitted) and taking off the tip of my finger while cutting carrots. Why do people still allow me to use knives, anyway?
So yeah, I’m kind of an expert at this whole getting injured thing. But these people put me to shame…if that’s what I should be feeling right now.
I’d really hate to find out what some of our readers come up with. Please don’t upstage me. 

1. “I knocked myself out trying to eat nachos” 

2. “I was laying on my bed very tiredly, dangling a book over my face. The book fell on my face. Stitches”

3. “A friend of mine tried to do the Dukes of Hazzard/Starsky and Hutch slide across the bonnet of a car and pierced his ass on a rusty window wiper.”

4. “I stapled my thumb with an industrial stapler… Twice.”

5. “I reached up to take a cigarette out of my mouth, hit it from underneath, flipped it, and somehow shoved the cigarette into my own eye.”