12 Things You Won"t Understand If You"re Not Over 30

Someone once told me that once you turn 25, you’ve hit your peak and your body technically starts dying. I don’t know if this is true, but there are definitely some things that change a lot with age: the hangovers are longer and harsher, the dating pool is basically a festering cesspool, and you realize you have more in common with your great-aunt than you’d originally thought — mainly, the mustache. But it’s not all bad, just different, so here are 10 things that change drastically once you’re over 30 years old.  

1. Drinking before 30:

A “couple” turns into a number you can’t even remember the next morning. There’s puke in your hair, but it’s OK, it’s not yours. You wake up spooning with a plate of nachos. 

2. Drinking after 30:

You blow off any possible plans for the night. You binge-watch How I Met Your Mother and share a bottle of wine with your cat. 

3. Texting before 30 vs. after 30: 

The romance is still there… It just involves grilled cheeses 

4. Breakfast before 30:

All the coffee, coffee, and more coffee