6 Things You Learn After Getting Back With Your Ex

Let’s face it, if we all got one shot, and only one shot at things in life, most of us would would elect to never get up in the morning. We’re constantly failing, even at life’s simplest tasks. This morning, I missed the leg hole in my jeans! We’re human and we’re susceptible to cataclysmic (or in the case of my jean mishap, incredibly minor) mistakes.

Relationships are no different. 

Whether you’re married for 60 years or thinking about getting back together with an ex who seems to just be a hopeless series of bad decisions, you and your partner are going to make mistakes. So, for the sake of this article, let’s just say you are thinking about taking one of those mistakes back. You tried the single life and after one night of cheap tequila shots, loud music and regret, when the dance floor lights turned on, you decided you much prefer the comfort of your couch, a couple of movies, and your ex.

Congratulations, you’ve grown out of the desire to be 19 and a bachelor(ette)!

Anyway, if getting back with your ex is your goal, here are a few lessons you should probably be aware of…

1. You have to want change.

Have you ever tried to force a smoker to quit smoking? How’d that go? When people stop smoking, it’s usually out of nowhere and because they want to. Relationships are no different. Chances are, you two broke up because they had some (or many…like many, many, many) things about them that you couldn’t stand after a few months. Chances are also that, at one point, you tried to break your partner’s habits “for the sake of the relationship.” And the fact you broke up shows how well forcing the change in them went.The fact of the matter is this…and it’s simple: if they don’t want to change, they won’t change. Accept them for who they are or update that old Tinder profile of yours.“The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.”–Thomas Merton

2. It’s a two-way street. Move over a bit.

Give and take. Tit for tat. Yin and yang. Up and down. Left and right. There are a thousand ways to exemplify balance, but none are more important in love — especially when getting back with an ex — than remembering every aspect of your relationship is a two-way street. Remembering this advice isn’t just something that’ll help you in relationships with a partner. It’s something that will help you in life in general. You can’t get mad if their Sundays are dedicated to watching sports if your weekday nights are dedicated to your favorite shows. You can’t get mad at her for the bedroom being a mess if you never clean up your dishes, etc.If you share in each other’s interests and hobbies, you can share in each other’s lives for a long time to come.OR! In the words of the great Snoop Dogg…“It ain’t no fun if the homies can’t have none.”