13 911 Operators Share Their Hilariously Messed Up Stories

Luckily, in my time on this earth, I haven’t had to make a 911 call. I’m pretty shy, so the idea of being put on the spot like that is terrifying. I basically practice all my phone calls beforehand, including any possible talking points that might come up so I don’t have to be caught off guard. So just blindly jumping into a life-or-death conversation with a complete stranger…. well, my anxiety is already kicking in.

So it gives me a good amount of pleasure to learn that even if I were stumbling and mumbling, I probably wouldn’t make the same mistake as some of these people, who clearly don’t understand just how serious 911 operators take their job. Remember to only phone in case of emergencies or you’ll be publicly shamed online.

Please feel free to COMMENT with some of your own stories (if you’re foolish enough to have them) and let us know your faves! 

1. This has actually happened to me, and thinking back, I don’t understand how I wasn’t worried enough to call 911.

“Once we had a young woman call 911 around 2am saying that her legs were turning blue. Turns out she had worn a new pair of jeans to the club that night.”

2. If I actually thought about all the gum I’ve swallowed over the years…

“I’m not a dispatcher, but back in my EMS days I was dispatched on a call of a child being poisoned. Upon our arrival we find a 14 year old male and his mother. The mother was insisting we take them to the hospital so he could have his stomach pumped because he had swallowed chewing gum. The child was looking at us as if to say, ‘I’m sorry my mother is crazy."”One year later, same address, same family, called for poisoning. Upon arrival we find the same kid and mother. The mother wanted to be taken to the hospital because the kid had admitted to his mother that he had taken a hit of marijuana when he was visiting friends the week before. The kid had the same look on his face.”

3. Almost anything that starts with you being at a 7-Eleven ends this way.

“I have been in the 911 biz for over 22 years. If a caller starts the call with ‘I swear I’m not crazy’ then you need to buckle up for some insanity. A guy started a call with those words after escaping from his apartment and running to the closest 7-11. He swore that his roommates were turning into giant crabs. [He] was going to show the officers that they were currently in giant cocoons transforming. As you might expect he was tripping balls.”

4. To be honest, living in the country, it always freaked me out seeing ANYONE outside my house!

“We had an old woman call in and say there was two guys dress in blue trying to break in her house and rape her. So we send about 6 cops over to her house. It turns out it was the gas company reading her gas meter.”